Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Bible:Napoleon Dynamite Version

My friends did this whilst in Bible College - really profound stuff

Mary hasn't done flippin' anything today!
You're just jealous 'cos i've been chatting to Jesus ALL DAY!
(Martha to Jesus in Luke 10:38-42)

In the beginning, God did whatever the hell he felt like doing GOSH...and he saw all that he had made, and it was sweet.

Disciples only like Messiahs with great skills...walking on water skills, feeding 5,000 skills, raising people from the dead skills.

Daniel would chat to God for like 2 hours everyday, so i guess you could say things were getting pretty serious.

King Saul: 'Hey David, what experience do you have that qualifies you for standing agaisnt Goliath?'
David: 'I told you! I spent last summer with my uncle in Alaska hunting Wolverines.'
KS: 'Did you kill any?'
David: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my sheep, what the heck would you do in that situation?'

Jesus sends out the 72 (Luke 10) 'No more flying solo. From now on we use the buddy system, you need someone watching your back at ALL TIMES.'

Goliath: 'Do you think anyone wants a roundhouse kick to the face whilst i'm wearing these bad boys?'

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